30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 16

Oops!  Somehow, I skipped yesterday!  I mean, I didn't skip yesterday.  I was there.  Do you ever wish you could have skipped a day, though?  That's not how my yesterday was, I'm just saying, sometimes skipping a day doesn't sound so bad!

Today I've been doing some research, some reading, some "interviewing," in an attempt to figure out the whole "I own my own domain name" thing.  I don't own my own domain name.  I've been talking about it for a while now, though, and I'm ready to take the plunge.  I'm nervous, though!  I am so anxious that when I do purchase the name and make the changeover, I'll lose something!  I'm afraid I'll lose my GFC followers, or I'll lose my posts, or I'll lose...  You get it.

I've been emailing back and forth this evening with Beth from Five Kids Is A Lot Of Kids.  Beth's blog is hilarious, by the way, and I almost always laugh.  Except for days like today, when I cry.  (If you click that link, you'll see that her url is http://putdowntheurinalcake.com, which makes me smile EVERY time I cruise over to her site.)  So, I've been emailing with Beth and her husband, Greg, and they're trying to help me understand how this whole process works.  (Apparently it's easy.  I'm just a wimp.)

Beth's not the only blogger I've emailed with questions, either.  I've asked questions of Danielle at Happenings of the Harper Household, who has been a HUGE help in setting up this blog!  She is great at helping small blogs, like mine, make a bit of a "name."  Toni at Crazy 4 Fluff has been pretty quiet lately, but I can't tell you how valuable her advice has been to me through the last year!  Even my sister at Life with my BOYS (or Crum's This N That if you've been around a while) pushes me to greatness in this blog thing.

Today, I am thankful for my fellow bloggers in this great internet blogger community!  So many of you have given your time to answer my questions and help me along the way.  I am thankful for the friendships I have formed with some of you!  I am so grateful that some of you have been so willing to step out and help a lost blogger like me find her way!

Thank you, bloggy friends, for being who you are and doing what you do!  You're the greatest!

4am thoughts; Big changes

What were you doing at 4:00 this morning?  I was doing this:

(Yes, that is me in all my 4am-3-hours-of-sleep-self-portrait glory.)

and this:

(Who doesn't love a bit of 4:30am peek-a-boo?)

 

and finally, after over 3 hours, a little of this:

(Finally asleep at 5am, after a little over 3 hours.  And he woke up as soon as I laid him down, and ended up in my bed anyway.)
 

As I was rocking...and rocking...and rocking my precious Stinky, I was thinking.  (What else do you do at 2...3...4am?)  I was trying to figure out

• What's been bothering Stinky's belly?
• Is it the meat he's had several times in the last week?
• Does he have some crazy intermittent tummy bug?
• Does he need to go back on his tummy meds?
• What should I do for a job?
• Do I just go for any old job?
• Do I look into teaching-somehow-somewhere?
• Do I stick to my guns and look for what I want?
• What's up with my blog?  (Yes, really, at 3am I was thinking about YOU!)
• Why am I gaining readers and losing page views?
• What do you all think of Rafflecopter?
• Why am I suddenly so unmotivated when it comes to my blog?
• And about a million other things.  Got a problem that needs solving?  Just ask.  I probably came up with an answer last night!

I'm going to address the blog issue here-specifically the motivation issue.  Please indulge me for a few moments.

When I started My This N That Life, its purpose was personal.  My sister and I challenged one another to do at least one "blog-worthy" thing every day.  I was going to be so intentional about living every day with my children that there would be something...anything...worth sharing every day.  I was excited and motivated and DID that.  For a while.

And then.

Then I discovered the world of review blogging!  I discovered that I LOVE using my words to promote and encourage businesses!  I found that advertising through experience is fun and fulfilling!  I fell in love and pushed and pushed at finding sponsors and reviewing products until I'd pushed the personal side of my blogging right off the page.

And then.

The thing is, life keeps on happening, with or without my reviews. In April (yes, it's been that long) I stopped babysitting.  My life went from a structured regimen to a chaotic mess overnight.  I didn't have to do things at certain times anymore.  I didn't have YOU scheduled into my day anymore!  And I cherished that freedom for a few days.  In June we took a long weekend and went camping.  We spent days and days at the sprinkler park.  We took long walks.  We soaked up every tiny bit of summer before Bugsy's surgery at the end of June.  Surgery went GREAT.  I dropped the computer in the hospital and didn't have YOU for two full weeks!  We finally got the Bug home and healed.  We survived the 6 week post op check and were given the green light for a whole year! 

And then.

Two weeks after Bugsy got the all-clear, I didn't.  I won't go into detail now, but I received a scary medical diagnosis.  I went underground for two weeks.  I didn't write anything.  At all.  I couldn't even think about it.  I survived those two weeks.  I didn't live them.  I didn't cherish them.  I survived.

For a solid 3 months, I've been harf-hearted, at best, with my blogging.  I've been half-hearted with my reviews.  (Don't get me wrong.  I've put my all into each one.  But I've got a list of reviews that have taken a back seat to life.)  I haven't told you about my life, my family, the things I've learned from them. 

And I have.  I've learned.  I've grown.  I've changed.  And you've missed it all.

My blog?  My blog isn't what I set out to create.  I don't love it.  I don't even LIKE it some days.  This place that used to be a haven has become, in some ways, a burden.  I still enjoy it, sometimes.  But it frustrates me because it isn't what I want it to be. 

It isn't ME.

I've made a decision.  I'm going back.  I'm going to get back to cherishing the moments with my family.  I'm reverting to those few precious days when I made every effort to do something blog-worthy.  I'm going to put my family (and myself!) first for a while.

Does this mean I'm done reviewing?  NO!  I told you, I love reviewing!  It simply means that I am going to go back to my old ways.  Remember them?  When reviews and giveaways were scheduled?  That's right.  Starting tomorrow, Fridays are "Give it away Friday!"  Tuesdays?  "Tune in Tuesdays."  (That's when I'll announce winners.)  The rest of the week?  That'll be mine.  Mine to indulge.  Mine to share my stories and crafts and quirks.  Read them or don't.  I don't really care.

This blog isn't about you anyway.  It's about me.  It's my release.  It's my motivation.  It's my self.  If I can't be true to me, it's not worth it.  From now on, this blog is MINE.  Take it or leave it.

My own blog is annoying!

I have a confession to make.  You might now believe me, but I don't write this blog so you can read it.  I really don't.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I enjoy knowing that some of you read my words faithfully every day, sometimes more than once a day.  I love it that what I say is worthwhile enough that it is read over 1800 times each month.  I love getting little comments here and there telling me you enjoy reading my words.  But seriously.  This is NOT for you.  It's for me.  And if no one every read my words again, I think I'd keep writing them.  (But let's not try that, okay?)

I've been thinking about writing this morning, and more specifically about blogging.  I've been pondering what I like to see in a blog, how I like it to be formatted, what annoys me...and I have come to realize that my own blog is annoying!  There's no rhyme or reason to it.  Nothing is scheduled or planned.  I sit down in my "office" (read: recliner) during naptime, throw something together, and put it out there for the world to see.  Maybe this week it's Tuesday and we did a cool project in the morning that I want to tell you about.  Or it's Tuesday and my kid said something funny I want to tell you about.  Or it's Tuesday and I did my taxes and want to complain about it.  Who knows?  You never know what you might find when you pop into my blog!

Maybe you like that, maybe you don't.  But like I said, it annoys me.  I'm the kind of girl that likes to know that every Thursday when I look at your blog, there's going to be a new picture of something Crazy Aunt Edna did this week.  I like to know that every Monday when I look at your blog there'll be a story about what your silly monkeys ate for breakfast.  I'm the kind that likes to know that on Saturdays you'll tell me how many socks you left unmatched that week.  I like routines!  So I will be working on a "schedule" of sorts.  It'll be a loose one, I think.  It'll be written in sand, because sometimes I will go off topic and don't want to feel like I've let my readers down!

So, here's where I need you!  I want to know what you love about your favorite blogs!  I've got some things up my sleeve, mind you, but I want to know what you like!  Is there a special weekly feature you'd like to see?

AND I want to hear what you don't like.  Maybe you don't even like predictable blogs.  I won't be offended if you tell me that information, either.

What do you want to see?