I'm sitting in here in a PICU room at Riley Hospital for Children with my brave little man.
The Bug is currently sleeping peacefully, but off and on he wakes up, takes a drink of water, calls for me over and over (even if I am standing by his side with my hand on his chest), and wiggles around a bit. When he's awake, he wants me right by his side. I don't blame him.
At about 2 this morning, Bugsy woke up. He was scared, he was agitated, he was groggy. Through his sleepy fog, he called to me.
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"
"What, Bugs?"
"Mommy, please get me up."
"I can't, Bugs. You have to stay in that bed for a while."
"Please get me out of the bed."
"I can't, Bugs."
"Oh. I can't open my eyes, Mommy."
"I know, Bugs."
"Will you please open my eyes, Mommy? I can't see you."
"I can't, Bugs. Jesus closed your eyes so your head can get better faster. Jesus will let them open when He's sure you're ready."
"But I can't see you, Mommy."
"I know, Bugs. I know."
"I love you even when I can't see you, Mommy."
"I love you too, Bugs."
Pray for us today as we begin recovery. He's very swollen already and will continue to swell until swelling peaks, probably late tomorrow evening. I especially ask that you pray for HIS peace as he can't open his eyes or see...and OUR wisdom as we try to explain.
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For those of you who aren't "up to speed," yesterday was a very long day. Our 3 year old, Bugsy, had a VERY long surgery...a cranial vault reconstruction, #3 in a series of recontructions to correct craniosynostosis, premature fusing of the skull sutures. The morning started (for me) at 4:40am after about 2 hours of restless sleep. I showered, rushed around throwing the last few things together, woke up Isaac (and his daddy), and we were off to the hospital. We checked in at 7 and had blood work drawn. At 9:33, the nurse wheeled Bugsy away, plastic microphone in hand, saying hello to everyone he passed. (The surgeons told us, at 10:30 last night, that when they wheeled him into the OR he looked around at all the nurses, and then said into his microphone, "Hello, Girls!" and flashed his dimples at them.)
And then we waited.
We got an update every hour. "He's been prepped," or "He's open," or "Still reconstructing." The one that had us scratching our heads was when the nurse told us, "Dr. Havlik is in a sterile field near Bugsy playing with the bones, trying to decide how he's going to put them together." If you've been in our shoes, you can imagine how awkward that one was to hear! We kept it as light-hearted as possible, though. In fact, I asked that the plastic surgeon write "Dr. Havlik was here" on the bones when he was marking them. (He told the nurse he ALWAYS does that. If I see him again before we leave the hospital, I'm going to ask him where he wrote it. I don't believe that he really does that, though.)
The day went quick in some parts, slow in others. For me, the hardest part of the day is always the late afternoon/evening. I hate it when I see the waiting room start to clear out. I hate it when I know that most of the patients are at home or in their rooms and we're still waiting. Watching everyone else leave to see their babies, and knowing that we still have hours left is so painful for me. Knowing that you'll be there when the nurses and receptionists leave, and that you'll be left to answer the phones yourself...
Anyway, at about 10 last night we finally heard that surgery was complete! A scheduled "7 hour surgery" took about 11 1/2 hours...and with prep and recovery time, he was away from mommy and daddy for 13 1/2. We were able to talk to the surgeons a short time later, and around 11 we finally saw him. We moved very quickly from the recovery room to the PICU. We settled in around midnight, and here we are.
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To ALL of you: Thank you so much for your prayers. We felt God's peace in a big way yesterday.
To Tim and Angelita: Thank you for being a much needed distraction these last few days before surgery! God knew what He was doing when he planned for you to be here at the exact time we'd really need you! We love you both!
To Greg and Christine: Thank you so much for caring for Little Lou and Stinky when we couldn't! You guys have been such a blessing! I'm glad we've been able to support each other!
To Jack: Thank you for taking care of Harrison...and the house! We appreciate your acts of love and service every time...EVERY time...we need you!
To our parents: Thanks for coming and spending the entire (grueling) day by our sides! We know he's your grandson, but it still means a lot to have the support! Thanks, Rick and Sue, for taking the kids home for the next few days. We'll Skype with Little Lou, at least, later!
To Ashley: Thanks for organizing some meals for when we get home...AND for taking Little Lou for the afternoon Tuesday so I could finish up some of the packing!
To the Billey family: Thank you thank you for feeding us yesterday! A special thanks to you, Aunt Maribeth, for doing the shopping and bringing the food...and for spending the remainder of the day with us! (And thanks to pizza delivery boy Gene!)
To Mark: Thank you for stopping by and saying a very special prayer with Bugsy on Tuesday. He loved it and I really appreciated you thinking of us.
To anyone else who's helped with anything the last few day: Thank you from the bottoms of our hearts. While we could have done this without you, we wouldn't have wanted to! You've all made it that much easier.
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Please continue to keep Bugsy (and mommy and daddy...and Little Lou and Stinky) in your prayers, especially the next several day a we face recovery!
