Squinkie Love

I don't understand Squinkies.

Have you seen them?  Do you have a million of them rolling around at your house?  Here's what I think.  When I was 6, I used to beg my mom and dad for a quarter to buy something out of the gumball machine.  Out would pop a little ball of...something...often a miniature figurine of...something.  It was a 25 cent "investment" to keep me happy for the car ride home, and was inevitably lost within the hour.  Now, though?  Now they SELL those things!  In the toy department!  For almost a DOLLAR a toy!  

Squinkies are really popular.  Some of Little Lou's friends have literally hundreds of these these little gumball machine toys.  Little Lou has about a dozen or so, which she received as a gift from someone other than me, because, as I said, I just don't get it!

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We've been having some trouble lately, Little Lou and I.  

The thing about kids is that they tend to have one place that's their "safe" place, and that place tends to be home.  They feel comfortable at home.  Kids like Little Lou, the emotional type, tend to take their emotions to extremes when they're in that "safe" place.  They know and understand, whether consciously or not, that mommy and daddy are going to love them no matter what, and they tend to respond accordingly. 

Little Lou is no exception, and mommy is the only one around most of the time right now while daddy is in school and working full time, so mommy tends to feel Little Lou's "wrath."  We sat down today after school, after a particularly ugly interchange, and discussed behavior.  Little Lou doesn't know why she gets angry and she doesn't notice she's getting angry until she's over-the-top angry.  We've discussed this.  It's what she tells me and I believe her.  Emotions are so hard to understand!

Little Lou and I are going to be working on emotions.  Tonight we sat down after the boys were in bed and came up with a "secret word."  I'm not going to tell you what it is, because it's a secret.  It's just between the two of us.  When she starts to get angry, even if especially if she hasn't noticed yet, I'll say the secret word in a secret way and she'll know she needs to settle down.  We've got a plan.  Tomorrow we're going to make two lists, one of things she can do in her room and one of things she can do outside.  If I say the secret word, she will excuse herself to either her room or the backyard and do an activity on her own until she calms down.  If she notices herself that she's losing control, bonus!  She'll still quietly excuse herself to her room or outside and take a breather.

She doesn't like the way she feels when she's angry or when she's screaming at people.  Most of us don't like to feel that way.  THAT makes her angry with herself, and then there's much crying.  She feels remorse, but she also feels like she's alone in this battle.

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We went to WalMart tonight and bout Squinkies.  Cinderella Squinkies.  A dozen of them.

Every time Little Lou goes a day without screaming at anyone, she will earn a Squinkie.  Friends, it costs $10 to buy a dozen Squinkies.  I think they're pricey, but I think they're worth it.  My little girl's emotions, my little girl's future, is worth 10 million Squinkies.

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God made Little Lou special.  He gave her a big heart in that little body.  He wrapped a WHOLE lot of compassion into a ball of opinionated, emotional brilliance.  God's got big plans for that little girl.  BIG plans.  It's my job to nurture her into a God-fearing, God-loving grown-up.  I'm not sure I've been doing my best, but with God's help I'm working on it.  She's worth my time.  She needs it.  She's GOT it.

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Dear Lord, help me to have the words and the insight to pour into her little body, to cover her every day in love.  Help me to be a great example of Godly womanhood to her.  Help me to understand her and to help her understand herself.  You have SO much more in store for both of us!  Help us learn to navigate this future together!