Little Lou craves attention

See this little girl right here?

She craves attention.

Specifically MY attention.

And I don't blame her.

You see, Little Lou had just turned 2 when Bugsy was born with jaundice and a crooked head.  

Little Lou was 2 years and 3 weeks old, and she went from being the center of our tiny little world to taking a very obvious back seat to her baby brother.  Little Lou's 6 now, and Bugsy's 4.  There has never been a "dull" moment in the last 4 years.  There's never been a time when everything's been calm and we haven't been waiting for the "other shoe to drop."  Never. 

Little Lou craves attention.

Specifically MY attention.

And I don't blame her.

Last week we went to a hoedown at church.  Just Little Lou and me.

It was a silly party full of silly women.  One of the older ladies in the church taught us a simple line dance.  We ate hotdogs and baked beans and potato chips for dinner.  Little Lou had TWO rootbeer floats.  She was giddy and joy-filled the entire evening.  She had a blast and she made me smile.  We had a lovely evening making memories together.  Little Lou got the attention she needed.  I got the "time off" that I needed.  We both ended the evening feeling fulfilled.

And I decided we'll do it again.  

Not the hoedown, necessarily.  That was a one-time deal.  But the one-on-one time.  Our days are busy.  I get the kids up, send Little Lou to school with a friend, do all the "stay at home mommy" stuff with the boys, pick Little Lou and two friends up from school, take them home, facilitate homework time, make dinner, give baths, put kids to bed, and collapse.  I don't have much time to devote to each of the children individually, and I'm failing miserably at making the connections, particularly with Little Lou, that she needs.  I want to build a bond with her.  I want to know her.  I don't want to be her friend...I want to be her mom...but I want her to know that she can trust me and talk to me.  I want her to know that I love her desperately and am behind her 100%, no matter what.  I want her to know that she's mine not only because she's my daughter, but because God's entrusted her to me for a time.  I want her to know that her "flaws" are what make her who she is, and that I love her not despite her personality, but because of it.  I want her to be happy.

So we'll be hanging out again.  Soon.  Just the two of us.  We'll be building bridges and making memories.  We'll be going out for ice cream.  We'll be playing together at the park.  We'll be dancing in the rain.  Whatever.  I don't really care.  I just know that God has given me this precious little soul to mold for His use, and I'm doing a lousy job of it.  I'll be making time for Little Lou.

She craves attention.

Specifically MY attention.

And I don't blame her.