Monday, January 17, 2011

I don't want to be a "yes" mom.

"Don't say 'no' unless you really have to,
And when you DO say no, mean it."

I read this bit of advice a few weeks ago on someone else's blog.  I don't remember who it was and I doubt I'll ever find it again, but it's stuck with me and pops into my head on a regular basis.  You see, I've been kind of a "no" mom lately.  I don't know why.  But I don't love being a no mom.  So these last few weeks I've been working toward becoming more like the mom who wrote the above words.  I don't want to be a "yes" mom, but I want to have a real reason when I do say no!

There have been a lot of instances lately that, in the past, would have been "no"s.  Last night was one such night.  We'd discussed what we were going to have for dinner (spaghetti, because daddy wasn't feeling well and wasn't up to salmon patties) and I had told the kids I'd start cooking in half an hour.  Little Lou looked at me for a minute, maybe judging my mood?, and asked, "Mommy, can I help you make dinner?"

"Ummm...uh...huh.  Well, I guess so..."  You see, I couldn't think a reason to say no!  Well not a GOOD one anyway.  Spaghetti's easy to make.  You boil the water, put in the noodles, and 7 minutes later you're done.  How could she help with that?  How safe is it to let a 5 year old play with boiling water?  What had I done?!?

So 30 minutes passed and I had to live up to my word.  I thought she'd be disappointed when I asked her to pour the sauce into the pan, but she was so excited!

Little Lou got to put the spaghetti in the pan, too, but I was too busy holding onto her and making sure she didn't do something crazy like put her hands in the boiling water to take a picture!  She loved that part.  She'd never broken spaghetti before!  ;-)  I think that was her favorite part.

Until the meatballs, anyway!  I microwaved them to defrost them and she had the pleasure of dropping them into the pan.  She didn't love the splash and she wasn't sure what to do with the ones that were stuck together, but she enjoyed the sound they made when they plopped into the sauce!

 Yep, that meatball's in mid-air!

I think Stinky enjoyed the meatballs more than anyone!

For the record, it's much more fun for ALL of us when I say "yes" more.  The kids learn a lot more and they're a lot happier!  Do I say yes to everything?  Absolutely not!  I wish I could say that I do, but my kids are...well...typical kids, and sometimes their ideas are dangerous or disrespectful or disgusting and I HAVE to say no.  

I'm just trying each day to keep that little mantra in mind:

"Don't say 'no' unless you really have to,
And when you DO say no, mean it."


Jen Crum said...

Here's one of my favorite recipes to let Monkey do at home:
Crock Pot Lasagna
1 can or jar of pasta sauce
1 jar full of water
1 box of noodles (whatever kind)
1 small container of ricotta cheese
1 bag of mozzerella
meat (if you like that kind of thing)

dump it all into the crock pot and let it cook all day

Ruthykins said...

ooh, that crockpot lasagna sounds awesome! i'm gonna have to try that!

Ruthykins said...

hey, phyllis! yeah, i read your blog sometimes. now that i'm a follower i'll probably read it a lot more often. and no, i haven't found any botulin infested tacos lately, nor week old mcdonald's apple pies.

My This N That Life said...

Hehe...those were the days!

lydiasgt said...

I saw a tip the other day on a cooking show that would maybe even let your middle help with Spaghetti. Take a dish towel and put the noodles in the middle and roll the towel, then twist the ends and let them run it along the sides of the table and it breaks the noodles with little mess. I love reading your blog!

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