Thursday, November 10, 2011

30 Days of Thankgiving: Day 10

I am

White space.

Not the kind of margins you find on a page, though.  I'm thankful today for finally finding some margins in my life.  You know what I'm talking about.  The down time.  The "breaks."  The "me time" that we as people, but especially as moms, really need but often don't get take for ourselves.  We're so busy being super moms, being everything to everyone, that we often forget neglect to take time to re-center our own lives.

Take today, for instance.  Have a look at my schedule:

7:30 carpool
9:00-11:15 meeting
11:30 preschool pick-up
12:00 lunch/naps
2:00 carpool
3:30 therapy
4:30 dinner
5:30 zumba
7:00 kids' bedtime
7:15 crash on the couch

This day looks incredibly hectic!  Right now I'm sitting down for 15 minutes to eat a bit of lunch and regroup before I scurry around making sure the house is clean "enough" for when the therapist gets here.  I can't stand to have someone come into my house when the floors aren't clean, particularly when I know that someone will be sitting on the floor!  So, you probably look at this crazy schedule and think I'm going to be absolutely exhausted at bedtime.  You'd be right in some ways.  I'll be physically tired and ready to sleep.  For a week!

But today?  Today is my day of rest and rejuvenation!

That meeting this morning?  That was a MOPS meeting.  I've been 3 times now.  It's been so incredibly wonderful to sit and chat for 2 hours every other Thursday with like-minded moms.  Today my table (the red table) spent a great deal of time talking about potty training!  It seems almost all of us have at least one child in various stages of training.  It's been a lovely, refreshing gift I've given myself (and a friend gave me) to have that 2 hours of down time, that two hours of worry-free time where I know the kids are taken care of and I can just be who I was created to be!

And Zumba!  Some days it feels like another thing that has to get done, particularly on days like to day where I know the afternoon will be rushed.  But I never EVER regret spending that hour in a room of hot, sweaty, stinky ladies.  Never.  In part because of Zumba, I've begun to give myself and my family the gift of my health!  I'm not even just talking about my physical health.  I'm talking mental health.  My attitude is so much better when I've had a good workout!

Friends, until a couple months ago I didn't have margins.  My husband, my kids and my house have the the center of my life.  They've taken all of me, edge to edge.  No, that's not true.  They haven't taken all of me.  I've given them all of me.  Every bit.  And I forgot that I need to keep a little bit of me for...well, me!  So when I looked around a few months ago and couldn't even recognize myself anymore, I knew something needed to change.  I needed to find a way to get a little bit of "me" back into me.  I'm working on that, and it's still a slow process, but I am finally TAKING the time for me.  (It does help that there is childcare at both MOPS and Zumba!)

I'd like to encourage you, today, to find a little bit of a margin in your life!  It's hard.  I get that.  I really do.  I have a husband, 3 kids, and a dog.  There is ALWAYS something that needs to be done.  There is always something I'm putting off or pushing aside in order to find my margins.  But I'm finding them.  I've set time aside.  My husband knows there are times right now that, unless there's an emergency, I'm in "me" time and I'm just plain not available.  To anyone.  Except for me.  The more I force myself to live a little bit of my life in the margins, the more I find that I've been needing them all along.  Find your margins.  TAKE your margins.  You need them!

Dear Lord, thank you for rest!  In the business of a day like today, I am reminded of how much I need to take a little bit of time here and there to focus on me.  I'm reminded that you made me to be exactly who I am, and if I am not taking the time to remember who I am, I'm not following your will at all.  I need to be rested and refreshed to be the kind of wife, mother, friend, person that you've made me to be.  Thank you for giving me a husband that, although we're both still learning to understand I need my time, accepts that I need a break her and there.  Thank you for giving me that gently nudge mighty push into the unknown so that I could recapture me.  Lord, I know I have friends out there who don't have time...or make focus on themselves.  I know because I was one of them until you told me that wasn't what you had for me.  Please help my friends to find their own margins.  We all need them.  Help my friends to see that they're possible and they're critical.  Thank you, Lord, for showing me just how critical margins are!


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theconfidentmom said...

Great post - and a wonderful reminder. I am determining that I need to re-evaluate my schedule so that I can truly be more available to my family in a way that nurtures them. It is a process and always changing - The Lord helps direct my choices, time and helps me see where my family really needs me to be.

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